


Home Is Where the Heart Is

by anice_1



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Artist!Steve, F/M, M/M, People get drunk, Stucky Big Bang 2017, Sweet Home Alabama AU, background Sharon Carter/OMC, background clint/natasha - Freeform, based on a movie, brief mention of past Natasha/Bruce, referenced minor character death (canon), referenced pet death, sbb2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 08:50:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 22,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11870832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anice_1/pseuds/anice_1
Summary: Steve Rogers has it all: He’s the hottest new artist in town, he’s dating the most eligible bachelorette of New York City, and he just got the proposal of his dreams. The problem? Steve already has a husband, and travelling home to finally divorce Bucky Barnes proves to be far more of a trip down memory lane than Steve expected.





	Home Is Where the Heart Is

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my entry for the SBB2017!  
> Huge thanks go out to:  
> The mods of the Stucky Big Bang for hosting this whole thing and putting up with all of our drama, you guys are the true MVPs!  
> My beta [Mayura](http://curry-spice-and-everything-nice.tumblr.com) for ironing out some stuff very fast and professionally and making me feel a lot better about myself!  
> [MrBarnesIfYaNasty](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MrBarnesIfYaNasty/pseuds/MrBarnesIfYaNasty/works) for saving me by creating the moodboard for this fic at very short notice! Thank you so much!!! :)
> 
> This is an AU based on the movie Sweet Home Alabama (but not actually set in Alabama). If you know the film a lot of events and even some of the dialogue will be familiar to you, but I think I changed enough stuff that it hopefully won't get boring. If you've never seen the movie I highly recommend it - I have a hard time with RomComs generally, but this is one of the few I truly enjoyed!
> 
> I also should point out that this fic features incorrect depictions of what happens when lightning strikes sand as well as of divorce proceedings. Both of these I took directly from the movie so if any lawyers or scientists read this please take your complaints directly to Touchstone pictures :D

__

_Steve was panting heavily, trying to keep up as Bucky ran through the storm, and tried to make out what his friend was yelling at him over the noise of the thunder and rain._

_“One day, when we’re grown up, I’m going to marry you,” Bucky called, still running at full speed, Steve trailing behind as fast as he could. He was panting a bit as they arrived at the edge of the beach and they had to slow down when their feet started to sink into the wet sand with each step._

_“Why do you want to marry me?” Steve laughed even though he still had no idea where Bucky was even going, but he trusted him, always had and always would._

_Bucky came to a halt in the middle of the beach and turned around to face Steve and smile down at him. There was more thunder and lightning around them but Steve wasn’t scared. Bucky’s smile was full of affection and warmth and made the storm around them fade away to background noise._

_“Because,” Bucky began, stepping closer and lifting a hand to Steve’s face to brush the wet strands of blond hair from his forehead, “then I can kiss you whenever I want.”_

_Steve thought he stopped breathing for a moment when Bucky leaned down to touch his lips to Steve’s. It was just a light brush of lips, sweet and innocent, and it was a bit awkward at first because neither of them really knew what they were doing and they were completely soaked through, but it was perfect, just like Bucky had promised earlier. It would be the first kiss of many, perfect and romantic with not a care in the world, just like it always was in the movies._

_A loud crack a little bit to the right made them break apart, reminding them that this wasn’t just romantic rain but, in fact, a thunderstorm. Their heads turned in the direction of the noise to find a bit of sand glowing a few feet over, a trail of smoke rising from it despite the rain._

_Bucky made a surprised sound and walked towards the glowing thing, pulling Steve behind him._

_“Wow, my grandpa told me about this”, Bucky murmured in awe as he crouched down next to the mysterious thing. It looked like gooey mass that was a bit see-through, but with small streaks of a darker matter running through it. “That’ll be glass when it cools down. It’s what happens when lightning hits sand.”_

_“Really?” Steve’s eyes went wide. “Do you reckon we should get away from here?” It was phrased as a question but there was no urgency behind it and Steve didn’t make a move, still fascinated by the wonder of nature before his eyes and the comforting feeling of Bucky’s hand still holding his._

_“Nah”, Bucky dismissed. “This is now the safest place we could be. Lightning never strikes the same spot twice.”_

*

Steve shifted and lifted his head before he started to rub his eyes, looking around to try to make sense of where he was and why he had been sleeping on such a hard surface in such an awkward position.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” It was Sam’s voice from behind Steve, sounding vaguely amused. “Sleep well?”

“Huh.” Steve pushed himself up from the table he had been resting his head on and then snapped to attention as he took in his surroundings.

“Oh my god, why did you let me sleep, there is still so much that needs to be done!”

“Relax, man, you were out for ten minutes at most. We figured we’d better let you sleep. It would be a shame if you were too tired to enjoy your great triumph tonight!”

“It would be an even greater shame if there is no triumph at all if we don’t get everything done by the time the gallery opens.”

“Dude, everything _is_ done, quit freaking out.”

Fully awake now, Steve sprang into action. Sam was right, this was a major night for him – one of the biggest museums in New York was holding an exhibition with his art and Steve still couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that this was really happening. Ever since he had come to New York seven years ago he had tried to make it as an artist, and he had been having some success for a while now but this – this was a whole new level, something he hadn’t even dreamed would be happening. Now there were only a few hours left until the grand opening and Steve was going to spend all his time fretting about every little detail. At least Sam was there to keep him sane and grounded, and even though he was technically Steve’s assistant he was also his best friend and as such took it upon himself to order Steve around when he thought he was overworking himself or freaking out too much about nothing.

The truth was, Steve had always wanted to be an artist, and it felt incredibly satisfying being in New York and getting to do it for a living, but he had also always been very self-conscious about his art. This opening tonight – it was simultaneously the biggest success of his career so far and the most frightening thing he could possibly imagine doing. There had been exhibitions before, but he had never had one at this level with this kind of audience. Everyone would be there: politicians, celebrities, other artists, journalists – they all would be judging him, and if they liked what they saw this would bring his name out to a general public. He had been told by the museum curator that he was about to become a household name and that thought was equally daunting and exciting.

Steve joined Sam, walking around and making little tweaks to the exhibit – they were his paintings of New York (Brooklyn to be precise). For some reason Steve had really taken a liking to the place and had felt inspired enough to fill an entire exhibition just with paintings of Brooklyn. It had been where he had settled when he had first come to the city, after all.  
The curator had told him that she liked Steve’s eye for the beauty of everyday places and the way he combined the depiction of that with his unique style of painting. Slightly abstract, she had said, with an interesting use of colors and shapes. It was still clear what an audience was looking at, but his work ultimately captured more the essence of the place than it attempted to do a realistic portrait of the borough.

The paintings had been hung safely for several days now, but it was the accompanying exhibits that Steve was still fuzzing about – photos of Brooklyn past and present, letters from people who moved away, old ads from the war and much more that had fit the theme. They were supposed to provide, as the curator called it, a more complete experience.

“Steve, it’s time to get ready. Get a move on.” Sam apparently had had enough of trailing behind Steve as he made his way through the museum to double-check everything again and again. When all Sam got was a noncommittal hum in return Steve was suddenly taken by the arm and physically pulled from the room. “All the staff is waiting for you to get away, they need to lock up the glass boxes and wipe your sticky fingerprints off before they let people in.”

“Yes, okay.” Steve sighed nervously and followed Sam back to the office where they were supposed to get ready and wait for Steve’s grand introduction.

They were just fastening the last buttons on their suits when Sam let out a low whistle, nodding at the small TV that was showing a silent live feed of the crowd in front of the museum. “Your girl’s here and she looks smashing as always.”

Steve had been ignoring the TV until now, because seeing the people waiting to get into the building would’ve only made him more nervous, but Sam’s words made him turn around.

Immediately a wide grin spread across his face. There was Peggy making her way through the crowd, being welcomed by the museum curator and smiling back at her happily. As director of S.H.I.E.L.D. she was more than used to public appearances, but rarely did she radiate as much excitement as she did today and Steve was once again overcome by his love and affection for this woman. She looked stunning indeed in her bright red evening dress. Steve felt a huge wave of warmth when he noticed that she was wearing the ruby earrings he had given her a few weeks prior.

Steve suddenly heard Sam snicker and realized he had been staring at the screen for a while with a loopy grin on his face.

“One year later and you still light up like a Christmas tree whenever she’s around.”

“What can I say.” Steve shrugged with an unapologetic smile on his face. “I love her.”

“Obviously. The feeling’s mutual, clearly. Man, you are one lucky bastard, you know that?”

“Oh yes, believe me, I know.” Steve smiled back at Sam who in return shoved at his shoulder affectionately. Steve didn’t get to shove him back, though, because at that moment the curator’s assistant knocked on the door to fetch Steve, sending Sam down to the exhibition room to mingle with the crowd that would be pouring in any minute.

*

“My darling!” Peggy took Steve’s face in her hands and kissed him. “Everyone’s loving the exhibition and your speech was fantastic, I am so proud of you!”

Steve buried his head in her shoulder to shield his blush from the view of the patrons that were still walking through the room, talking excitedly with glasses of champagne in their hands. “Thank you. I thought I was going to faint.”

“You didn’t, though. You did well. Nobody else would’ve even guessed that you were nervous. I’m so happy for you!”

Steve yelped when a hand suddenly came down on his shoulder. The hand turned out to be attached to Howard Stark who stood in the middle of the art exhibition like it was his own. “The man of the hour,” he announced, “and my lovely co-director. Don’t you two just look stunning together? New York’s hottest celebrity couple indeed.”

“Thanks, Howard,” Peggy said, sneaking her arm round Steve’s waist.

“Nice of you to come,” Steve made sure to add quickly. Howard made him nervous, generally. He was like a slippery fish and Steve never quite knew what to make of the guy. He was heading the agency together with Peggy, though, so ignoring him wasn’t really an option.

“Well, I brought someone,” Howard continued and stepped aside to reveal a young man with a camera and a flashing smile. “This young man here is a hotshot young journalist and is dying for an exclusive interview with the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and New York’s newest art sensation. I told him it wouldn’t be a bother.”

The journalist shook both Steve’s and Peggy’s hands with a firm grip. “Peter Parker, nice to meet you both. Would it be alright for me to ask you a few questions?” He waited for the affirmative nod of both Steve and Peggy. Steve felt his girlfriend’s hand slip into his and give him an affectionate squeeze.

“So, Miss Carter, since when is S.H.I.E.L.D. such an avid supporter of the arts?” 

“Oh, they’re not.” Peggy smiled at the young reporter. “I’m not here to represent S.H.I.E.L.D., I’m here as a private person to support my boyfriend and his incredible talent. He’s the person you should be talking to, not me.” Steve felt himself blush at that.

“

“You remember that thing in Paris on Saturday, right?” Peggy asked when they exited the museum later that night and descended the stairs to get into the car that was waiting for them there.

“Yes, of course.” They were supposed to make an appearance at an international conference of intelligence agencies. Steve wasn’t exactly looking forward to that, but he knew it was important to Peggy that he came along, so there was no question that he would be there.

“Let’s go to your place tonight.”

Steve turned to face his girlfriend, a bit surprised by the sudden change of subject, and raised his eyebrows. “Yours is a lot closer, though.”

“Yes, but yours is cozier.” She smiled up at him and the decision was made. Steve didn’t think there would ever be anything he could deny her.

When he opened the door to his apartment a little while later he froze in the doorframe, jaw dropping to the floor. Peggy slowly came up behind him and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Do you like it?”

Steve was still not moving, his throat felt like it was too tight. “How did you know the evening would be a success?”

“How could it not be?” Peggy murmured, kissing lightly down his neck. “Steve. You are amazing, and if everyone else hadn’t seen that tonight I would’ve had to fight them personally. Also we would’ve gone to my place.”

Steve chuckled at that, turning around to give his girlfriend a long, lingering kiss. “I love you so much”, he muttered softly when they broke apart for air, and then he let her walk him backwards to his bed, vaguely noticing the sound of the door as Peggy kicked it closed behind them, before they sank down into the field of roses, candles and balloons that were covering every inch of his flat, right underneath the huge banner that said “Steven Grant – man of the year, love of my life” in big, golden letters.

*

“The reviews are in!” Peggy announced, walking into the bedroom in a nightgown and flopping onto the Paris hotel bed next to Steve. She had a paper in her hand and started reading from it, swiping it out of the way every time Steve tried to make a grab for it. “Steven Grant is the new rising star amongst American artists. With his unique style, his eye for detail and his accessible subject matter, he may very well be the long awaited person to bridge the gap between the requirements of highbrow art and the mainstream taste of pop culture. His work is profound but at the same time exhibits an aesthetic beauty that will grace the walls of small-town living rooms and world-class museums alike.”

“Wow,” Steve breathed, making an unexpected leap and finally grabbing the paper for himself, scanning the page to make sure that these words were not actually just the very biased opinion of his girlfriend. As it turned out, this was an actual article in the New York Times, and it made his mouth hang open in astonishment.

“You’re a star, my love,” Peggy whispered and nuzzled against him.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” Steve murmured and placed a kiss into her hair.

“Yes you could have.” Peggy’s voice was firm. “All I do is reign in your anxiety a bit. And Sam also helps with that. Everything else was just you, because you are one talented specimen of a person, love. Now get out of here and get ready, we need to leave for the embassy in an hour.”

Steve grumbled when she gave him a shove, but got out of bed anyway. “An hour is a long time,” he muttered. “ _Some_ of us don’t need that long to get ready, you know…”

“I heard that!” Steve laughed and walked faster, closing the bathroom door just in time for the flying cushion to hit the door instead.

“You’re staring,” Peggy told him an hour later when they were sitting in the back seat of the embassy car.

“With good reason.”

“You’re not looking too bad yourself, in that tux of yours,” Peggy added, giving him an appreciative once-over.

“You will be the belle of the ball, though. Maybe you taking so long in the bathroom paid off after all…” Steve was amazed once again how this woman managed to take his breath away with her sheer existence every single day. She was wearing a silvery one-shoulder gown that was sparkling in the light and her dark hair floated down in perfect waves, held in place by an expensive-looking silver hairpin at the back of her head. Her make-up was on point as always, the red lips drawing Steve’s attention. Steve didn’t know a lot about make-up but he assumed that most other women in her position wouldn’t do this kind of thing by themselves, at least certainly not to this level of perfection.

He was that entranced that he hardly noticed where they were going until the car stopped and Peggy gave him a nudge. “We’re here, come on.”

Steve took a deep breath and exited the car, but instead of the flashing lights and red carpet in front of the embassy he was expecting he emerged onto a dark square with a huge glass pyramid in the middle.

“Um, are you sure, this is … I mean … is this … what I think it is?”

“Yes, it is. Surprise.” Peggy walked around the car, took him by the hand and led her stunned boyfriend into the empty rooms of the Louvre. He had no idea what was happening or how she had managed this, but the only person they met was a single security guard in the entrance area who merely gave them a courteous nod as if he had been expecting them. They walked through the empty rooms, passing priceless art until Peggy finally stopped them in front of an entrance and then led Steve into the room at a much slower pace.

Steve was too stunned for words as he slowly walked towards the Mona Lisa, even when Peggy let her hand slip away to let him approach the masterpiece by himself. He still had no idea what was happening because Peggy had told him that, sadly, they wouldn’t have time for the Louvre during their time in Paris. He was vaguely aware that she walked up behind him, but only turned around when she softly called his name. He found her just a couple of arms lengths away, her dress still sparkling like the brightest star in the dim light of the room and cradling something in her hand.

“Steve, I know I said we couldn’t come, but I had this planned for a while and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.”

“Okay,” Steve rasped, at a loss for what else to say.

“Hanging behind you is what is believed to be the most valued painting in the world. You know this better than I do, but they think it’s worth almost 800 million Dollars. Almost 10 million people come to this museum every year mainly to see this painting. It’s one of the most famous works of art in the world and one of the greatest cultural treasures of mankind. But still…”

Peggy cleared her throat, fumbling with whatever was in her hand, and all Steve could do was look at her, his mind blank.

 “Still the man standing in front of me is worth a million times that. He’s kind, funny, supportive, incredibly talented, courageous, drop-down gorgeous and he makes me a better woman. He’s the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. So, Steven Grant…” she took a step closer, raising her arms and opening the small box she was holding to reveal a golden ring. “Will you marry me?”

Steve felt like all feeling had left his body. He should have expected this but up until this moment it just hadn’t clicked. Now that it had he was vaguely aware that he was supposed to say something but words just wouldn’t come. Instead he just stood there wide-eyed, as the seconds ticked on with Peggy’s proposal hanging in the air.

“I…” He finally managed to get out. “I mean, are you sure, it’s only been a year?” he finally managed to say and winced when his own words registered with his brain. He really should have expected this, he could have been prepared, could have taken care of everything so he could’ve given her an immediate yes. Because, hell, he wanted to say yes.

“I’m sure.” Peggy replied, dropping her hands but holding his gaze. “I love you. And I’ve been sure you feel the same. I don’t usually ask questions I don’t know the answer to, but if you need more time, I’d understand. The last few days were a lot.”

Her words were registering with Steve but they didn’t make sense. Was she giving him an out? He didn’t want an out! He wanted to be with her, always. Suddenly all other thoughts floated away and the answer was abundantly clear.

 “Yes,” Steve said firmly, “I want to marry you. I love you more than I can possibly tell you”, he added, leaning down to kiss her firmly on the lips.

“Thank god,” Peggy murmured against his mouth. “You had me really worried there for a minute.”

“Let’s just say your surprise worked a little too well, I was completely unprepared. But I’m not ever letting you go, I would be insane to do that.”

Steve shoved the nagging feeling in his brain aside. The wedding wouldn’t be until at least a few months, he had still enough time. All they had to do was keep the whole thing quiet for a few weeks to give him time to take care of everything. But for now, he would take the opportunity to enjoy kissing his fiancée in the empty Louvre for as long as he wanted while Mona Lisa smiled down on them fondly.

*

“Man, where are you, I was going to collect you from the airport but Peggy said you were going to visit your family and friends or something? You haven’t been over there for seven years, what the hell is going on?” Sam’s voice sounded a bit jumbled through the Bluetooth earpiece and Steve tried to wriggle it around in his ear with one hand, the other safely secured on the steering wheel of the rental car he had gotten at the airport.

“Something like that,” Steve told him. “I’m mainly here to take care of a little problem, but I’m going to visit some old friends of mine along the way to tell them I’m engaged.”

There was a yell from the other end of the line and some noise that sounded suspiciously like Sam was dancing in his room and yelling in excitement, when he suddenly trailed off as a thought hit him. “Oh.”

“Uh huh,” Steve hummed, craning his neck to read a street sign.

“OOH,” Sam said again. “So that’s why you’re there.”

“Yup,” Steve replied, popping the p.

“Okay, well, uh, then, good luck. Call me if you need me.”

“Will do. Thanks, Sam.”

Twenty minutes later Steve pulled into the driveway of a farmhouse. The shiny car looked a little out of place on the dusty ground next to the wooden walls of the house and the old truck that was parked right next to it. Steve palmed at his neck, making sure the chain with the golden ring on it was safely stored underneath his shirt, and then grabbed a folder from the passenger seat and got out of the car, ignoring the beautiful lake with a floating plane on it. He was more than just casually familiar with the scenery, after all, and he wasn’t here for that.

There was a loud barking noise and then there was suddenly a dog in his way, hurrying left and right in whichever direction Steve tried to walk, barking loudly and just generally being a nuisance.

“Oh Dugan, come on, work with me here, I don’t have time for this,” Steve muttered, trying to sidestep the dog to get to the house entrance, which only led to even more and louder barking.

“Oi, what’re you making all that noise for, you- oh, hello there!” A man around Steve’s age with long, dark hair and a beard had emerged from behind the house, leaning on the shaft of the axe he had apparently just been working with, if the film of sweat on his forehead was anything to go by. He was wearing loose-fitting jeans and a checkered shirt with the top button unbuttoned and was just now giving Steve a very obvious once-over, raising his eyebrows with an appreciative grin.

“Now what can I do for you, handsome stranger?” He flashed Steve a million dollar smile that once upon a time, in another life, would have made him go weak in the knees. He was a different man now, though, so all the other man received for his troubles was an eye-roll.

The smile vanished instantly when Steve spoke.

“You can get your stubborn ass down here, Bucky Barnes, and finally give me a goddamn divorce!”

*

For a few moments Bucky didn’t speak, he just clutched the shaft of the axe and stared at Steve in astonishment.

“Come on, Buck. It’s been seven years, the joke is over.” Steve waved the folder in Bucky’s general direction. “Just sign the damn papers and I’ll be on my way. Let’s not make this more difficult and awkward than it has to be.”

“Are you shitting me right now?” Bucky put the axe on the ground and leaned against the fence, crossing his arms. The dog sat right next to him and started to bark again, sensing the tension between the two men.

“No, I am, in fact, not shitting you, believe it or not. But I have a plane to catch, so can we please get this over with?” Steve opened the folder to reveal the papers inside and laid them out on the roof of his car. “Look, there are three copies. One for me, one for you and one for the lawyers. They even made these colorful tabs for the signature lines. I sign at the yellow tab, you at the red one.” Steve turned back around to face his husband, who was still hovering at the fence with a dark expression on his face.

“Really, Steve? You turn up here without any warning after seven years, no greeting, not even pretending to give a rat’s ass about how I am, what’s been going on?” Bucky had to talk loudly now to make himself heard over the barking.

 “You want small talk? I can give you small talk! Maybe you should have said so straight away instead of sending the papers back over and over! My lawyers bill me a ridiculous amount every time you do- Oh, shut up, Dugan!” Steve snapped at the dog at the exact same moment Bucky yelled “Oh, shut up, Dum Dum!”

The barking broke off, but Steve did a double take and stared at Bucky. “Dum Dum? What happened to Dugan?”

Bucky pushed himself off the fence and took a few steps toward Steve, looking him in the eyes sharply. “He died two years ago. You don’t want to hear about that.” With that, he turned around and walked towards the house, ushering Dum Dum to follow. Steve still stood next to his car, feeling like his stomach had turned to ice. He hadn’t expected the death of the dog to hit him this hard after not having seen him for seven years.

By the time Steve recovered enough to walk behind Bucky the other man had already closed the screen door behind him and was just shutting the glass door as well. “Please, Bucky, why are you being so difficult, can’t we just do this? You’ll get rid of me right this second and I can go home!”

“What do you know of home?” Bucky asked him coldly through the screen door. “Do you even remember where your mother’s grave is?”

Steve glared at Bucky, getting angrier from his attitude by the second. “Low blow, Barnes. And also that’s none of your business!”

“You made it my business seven years ago. Come back whenever you’re ready to act like a human being and then _maybe_ we can have another talk.” With that he closed the door and let his husband stand on the front porch. Steve was livid. He stalked back to the car and started angrily stuffing the papers back into the folder when an idea suddenly occurred to him. Grinning to himself, he started walking back towards the house.

*

When Bucky emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later he was met by Steve sitting at the kitchen table, holding up a key in triumph. “If you don’t want people in your house maybe you should make sure they don’t know where the spare key is.” Steve grinned at him and Bucky’s expression darkened even more.

“I would. But that would entail your dearest spouse telling you where he put the spare key in the first place!” It was an old argument and it felt like no time had passed. Except seven years ago, Bucky had never been genuinely angry when they had bickered about that key. Now he was.

“That could be arranged,” Steve replied and pointedly let the divorce papers drop on the kitchen table with a thud. He nudged them in Bucky’s direction and put his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands. His hands were cold despite the heat of the summer day, and he was shivering with suppressed anger, trying to ignore the familiar feeling of being back in this house after all this time. He made a point of not looking around, not noticing all the little things that had changed and all the major things that still were the same. This was a trip down memory lane that was better left untaken and he had other things on his mind now.

Bucky just looked between Steve and the papers on the table, his expression unreadable. The silence stretched out uncomfortably.

“Come on, Buck. We were never truly meant for each other anyway. I was just the first boy to climb in the back of your truck with you.” It was the wrong thing to say and Steve regretted it instantly. Bucky looked almost hurt for a split second before his expression closed off completely. “You’ve certainly changed” he said.

“You’re right. I have changed”, Steve said quietly. “I’m not the boy I was when I left here.”

“Well, then allow me to remind you.” Bucky snagged his mobile phone off the table, gave Steve a dark look and then stalked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. A second later there was the distinct sound of a key turning in the hole. Steve sighed and put his head on his arms. Bucky couldn’t hide in there forever, he would just need to wait him out.

It turned out he didn’t have long to wait, because a couple of minutes later Bucky emerged from the bedroom, looking smug. He walked directly to the nearest window, looking outside and then turning back to Steve triumphantly. “You still paint, right?”

“Yes, why?”

“No reason, just … do you paint anything that would look good on a prison wall?”

Steve jumped to his feet, suddenly on high alert, and looked out of the window behind Bucky to find a police car standing outside. “You called the Sherriff? That old guy hates me and you know it!”

Steve turned around, eyeing the door to the garden while Bucky calmly walked over to the entrance door and opened it. Before Steve could come up with any response that didn’t involve fleeing like some coward, though, there was a voice from the door. “Steve!?”

Steve whipped around at the familiar voice. “Clint?” He gaped at his old friend. “I can’t believe it, you’re the Sherriff, what the hell!” A moment later Steve and Clint were hugging tightly, babbling over each other excitedly while Bucky stood by, rolling his eyes. “Excuse me, Barton, a bit more professionalism please, we have a crime suspect on our hands here!” Clint took a step back at that, clearing his throat. He was obviously trying for a serious face, but the twinkling in his eyes betrayed his amusement.

“What seems to be the problem?”

“Stevie here broke into my house.”

“Nu-uh!” Steve interrupted. “I used a key! My key!” He held up the object in question triumphantly.

“Yes, for _my_ house, and I want you off the premises this instant! Clint, please take care of it and escort him out?”

“You can even escort me out of this whole state, but only if you get him to sign these papers,” Steve told Clint, pointing at the table. Clint, who was looking pretty confused at this point, walked over to the pile of papers, ignoring Bucky calling “that’s none of your concern!” behind him.

“A bill of divorcement?” Clint read with visible surprise and then stared at Bucky. For a second Steve just watched what looked like a wordless conversation between the two that he was not privy to.

“Um,” Clint finally mused. “Well, if you two are still married, that means it’s Steve’s house, too, so…” Clint looked between the two of them, visibly uncomfortable. His mind seemed to wander off for a minute. “You know, I don’t have a single childhood memory that doesn’t have the two of you in it … good times, huh?”

“Long ago,” Bucky said.

“In a different life,” Steve added.

“Yeah well, anyway … there’s no actual crime here, so there’s not really much I can do … sorry, Barnes. I’ll be off then, it seems like the two of you have a lot of catching up to do.” He threw Steve a wink and Bucky a pointed look before starting to make his way outside.

“Wait!” Clint stopped at Bucky’s call. “You remember those two French backpackers who reported their canned food stolen? That was totally him!”

“I was ten! And they were feeding it to the squirrels and didn’t listen when I told them it was bad for them!” Steve shouted. Clint frowned and didn’t seem to be able to decide whether to laugh or leave or both.

“Also Harold Burnett’s stolen car twelve years ago?”

Steve snorted. “It was the only way to go to the pride rally since nobody was going to drive me! And I only borrowed it, I totally brought it back!”

Clint started to back out of the doorway, clearly not wanting to be part of this argument anymore. Steve leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest, while Bucky followed and turned Clint around by the shoulder to stare at him intently.

“Isn’t there some outstanding warrant for the person who wrecked your old man’s tractor?“

Clint turned his head and narrowed his eyes at Steve, who gasped in response. “You did not just tell him that! That was an accident!”

Bucky simply smirked.

*

When Steve was finally allowed to leave the police station it was already dark outside and he was tired and grumpy. His car was still at Bucky’s so he walked ten minutes to where he had noticed a small B&B earlier to ask for a room for the night. He hadn’t really planned on staying that long, so he had to sleep in his underwear and got up early the next morning in order to buy himself a change of clothes.

He had barely been walking for two minutes when someone behind him called his name and he turned around to see a red-haired woman walking towards him, a small child padding along beside her and clutching her hand.

“Natasha fucking Romanov,” Steve said and smiled as Natasha reached him and gave him a one-armed hug while the little boy watched Steve with big eyes and sucked on his thumb silently.

“First of all, watch your language around my kid. Second of all it’s Natasha Barton now and this is Joey, and third of all what on earth is Steve Rogers suddenly doing here after years of complete radio silence?”

Steve smiled down at the little boy to buy himself some time and extended his hand. “Hi there Joey, I’m Steve.” Joey, unimpressed, just looked at him for a second and then tried to snuggle even closer to his mother.

“He’s not good meeting new people”, Natasha commented, and then added in the direction of her son: “That’s your uncle Steve. He and I used to be really good friends but then he up and left a few years ago.”

Steve cleared his throat uncomfortably. “I can’t believe you’re married to Clint now. And you have a kid. I mean … wow, congratulations.”

Natasha looked at him, unimpressed. “Yes you can, it was only a matter of time and everybody always knew that. Don’t stall. I heard you’re here to divorce Bucky?”

Steve ducked his head. Natasha still didn’t believe in beating around the bush, apparently. Seven years in New York and Steve still wasn’t used to that level of directness.

“Um, yes, I am.”

“But why?”

“Why?” Steve raised his eyebrows. “We haven’t been together for seven years, there’s really no point in staying married? I’ve been trying to divorce him for a while but he keeps sending the papers back to spite me.”

“To spite you?” Natasha considered Steve for a second. “He probably has his reasons. What’s the rush now, though? You want to marry someone else or something? This Peggy girl?”

“How do you know about Peggy?”

“Wow, Steve, believe it or not, we’ve had the internet here even before you left. The pictures of you and her are all over it. Or, more precisely, the pictures of her and Steven Grant or whatever you’re calling yourself these days.”

“Oh. Has Bucky seen them?”

Natasha pulled up her left eyebrow. “Does it matter?”

“No, you’re right, it doesn’t.”

She kept looking at Steve and he shifted under her gaze, feeling like she was trying to read him. She had always been good at that but it had never made him this uncomfortable before. Finally she sighed and shifted to move Joey to her other arm.

“You want my advice?” Natasha asked. Steve shrugged. “Talk to Bucky like a grown-up. You didn’t part on the best of terms and ever since then all he’s ever heard from you were divorce papers sent over by your lawyers. Can you really blame him for holding a bit of a grudge?” Steve shrugged again, ducking his head.  “Go back, sit down, talk calmly about everything and then decide.”

“Decide what?”

“What to do?”

“There’s nothing to decide. I’ve made my choice, the only thing left to talk about is whether he wants to be a dick about it or not.”

“Well, if you say so,” Natasha sighed. “Well, I need to get going. Good look with… everything. Congratulations on that art show by the way. Saw some pictures of that online, looks fantastic, I’m happy you got everything you wanted. Goodbye, Steve.”

And with that she walked away, carefully setting down Joey and leading him away at as fast a pace as the little boy could comfortably master. Steve turned around slowly and entered the local bank branch a few minutes later. Of fucking course, he thought, when he saw the out of order sign hanging from the ATM machine. With a sigh he turned towards the clerk and stepped up to the counter, pulling out his wallet to dig out his card.

“Oh my god, Steve?” He looked up to find a blond woman staring at him. Confused, he stared back for a few seconds, searching his memory until some vague shimmer of recognition dawned on him.

“Sharon? Wow, you’re all grown up, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

“Well,” she said, looking him up and down with a wink. “You’ve changed quite a bit as well. They’ve got great gyms in New York, huh?”

“Uh, yes, they do. How are you these days?”

“I’m pretty good, actually, getting married next month.” She held up her hand and wriggled her fingers to show off the ring that was glistening there. Steve wanted to ask whether she didn’t think she was a bit young to get married but he bit his tongue. He really wasn’t the person to talk about getting married young. Granted, his marriage had failed, but Sharon didn’t need to hear about that.

“Wow, congratulations. Lucky guy, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m just as lucky, I suppose. You probably don’t know that but I’ve always had a big crush on you when we were younger, but I never had a chance…”

“Um, well.” Steve had in fact known that, but he had forgotten if he was being honest. “Dating you would’ve been kind of illegal for me at the time, though.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sharon laughed. “But that notwithstanding, you were always far too gone on Bucky anyway. Nobody else would’ve ever come close.”

Steve didn’t reply. He only wondered how so many people had managed to metaphorically punch him in the gut in less than 24 hours.

“Well, anyway, I’m happy with Mike and it’s all worked out, I guess,” Sharon said when she realized Steve wasn’t going to say anything more. “What can I do for you today, Steve?”

“I was going to withdraw some cash from-“

“Your joint checking account?”

“What?”

“Your joint checking account! If I heard this correctly you’re still married to Bucky and you still have an account together here, so I thought you might want to withdraw money from it?”

“Wow, news travels fast.” Steve muttered and stared at Sharon, the wheels in his head turning fast.

“You know what, I would indeed like to withdraw some cash from this account.”

*

Steve put the casserole in the oven when he heard the motor of the water plane roaring outside. There was a splash and then a few minutes later the sound of footsteps and Bucky’s voice calling for the dog as he approached the house. Steve heard the key turn in the lock and then Bucky stopped dead, barely two steps into the house.

Steve walked out of the kitchen then, wearing an apron and carrying a lighter, and gave his husband a big smile.

“Good evening, darling! How was your day? Dinner is almost ready!” Humming quietly he bent down and lit up the candles in the middle of the dining room table that was already set up as if for a romantic dinner for two.

“What the fuck, Steve.” Bucky’s voice was flat as he took in the unfamiliar furniture in the living room. “What is all this? Where the hell is my stuff?”

“I redecorated a little bit. My husband spends all day at work and it’s my duty as his loving spouse to make him feel at home so I got some new furniture to make everything feel a little cozier.”

“Where is my fucking stuff?” Bucky walked into the kitchen behind Steve and glared at him, enunciating every single word with barely concealed anger.

“Storage.”

Bucky let out a grunt and walked over to the fridge and yanked it open, but then his hand stopped in mid-air as he noticed the contents. “What the shit is this, Steve, where’s my beer?”

“Juice, smoothies, various salads … all kinds of wonderfully healthy stuff. What kind of husband would I be if I didn’t care for my darling’s health?”

“The kind of husband that doesn’t fucking live here!” Bucky hissed, throwing the door of the fridge shut again.

“You wanted a husband, you’re getting a husband”, Steve purred. “I couldn’t find a lot of gluten-free items at the supermarket here, though, so I guess I’ll just have to order something online. Should only take a day or two. Shipping costs are insane these days, let me tell you.”

“Well, fuck you then, if you have money to spare for this sort of stunt, suit yourself.” Bucky started stalking out of the kitchen towards his bedroom, and Steve grinned at his retreating form.

“But honey,” he said sweetly, “I thought you said we should look at it more as _our_ money…”

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks and turned around slowly. “What did you just say?”

“You know, _our_ money. On our joint account?”

Bucky took a few big steps back towards the kitchen and glared at Steve, shaking with rage. “How much did you take?”

“All of it. It was an awful lot by the way, why do you even have so much money, are you doing something illegal, Buck?”

“So what if I am? I’m not asking you questions about your fiancée, you keep your nose out of my business!”

“Who told you about that?”

“Oh please, Steve, you may not think much of me these days but I am not a fucking moron!”

Bucky groaned and kicked hard at the hideous new dining room table, making the plates on it rattle. “Steve, who the fuck do you think you are? I don’t hear from you for seven years, then you come back here, break into my house, insult me and now you _steal my furniture!_ ”

“I can take everything back and it can be the way it was within an hour, if…”

Bucky kept glaring and Steve nodded his head towards the kitchen table. Bucky walked into the kitchen to take a look and found the divorce papers neatly arranged on the table, a pen resting beside them. He clenched his jaw and sat down at the table, picking up the pen. Steve waited for him to sign them straight away, but Bucky just kept staring at them, twiddling the pen in his fingers as the tension slowly left his body.

“So this is it, then. You’re closing this chapter forever.” He said quietly.

“I closed this chapter seven years ago, Buck.” Steve looked back at him earnestly.

“I suppose nobody meets their soulmate at six years old, huh?” Bucky muttered with a sad little smile.

“No, I guess not.” Steve agreed. They looked at each other for a few more seconds, considering, before Steve turned to lean against the fridge and look at the unusual glass object he had put next to the stove earlier while redecorating the living room. He had been extra careful with it but then forgot to place it back into the living room where it belonged. It was the piece of glass they had found all those years ago when they had first kissed on that beach. “I can’t believe you kept that thing all these years. Not a lot of people know that lightning does this to sand. I had a dream about it the other night, actually. Weird, huh?”

“Huh?” Bucky looked up to follow Steve’s glance and contemplated the statue for a second. “Yeah…” he muttered at stared blankly into space for a moment. Then he suddenly pulled himself up from the chair and stretched his arms before dropping the pen back on the paper. “You don’t mind if I have a lawyer look these papers over, do you? God knows how you may be trying to screw me over with this.”

“Screw you over?” Steve didn’t understand anything anymore and watched in astonishment as Bucky walked out of the kitchen and stalked over to the bedroom. “I’m not trying to screw you over, I just want this done with once and for all, what even is your problem? Just sign it already, why are you being so difficult?” He threw his hand up in exasperation.

Bucky started unbuttoning his shirt. “Nah. Also I can’t right now, I just remembered I have a date tonight, so if you wouldn’t mind?” Bucky grinned at Steve and pointedly started to take his shirt off when Steve didn’t react for all of two seconds.

“A date?” Steve had to take a deep breath to reign in his anger. Bucky had been so close to finally signing the paper, they had seemed to be somewhat on the same page, but then something had gone wrong and he hadn’t the slightest idea what. “James Buchanan Barnes, it takes you literally two seconds to sign this thing, what the hell is your problem?”

Bucky pulled his undershirt off and threw it on the bed, revealing a muscular chest that had Steve distracted for a minute as his eyes tracked the movements of the body that he had once known so very well. Bucky just sighed and went to his drawer to rummage around in it for new clothes, and if Steve didn’t know any better he would’ve said that Bucky was flexing a little bit more for this task than was strictly necessary.

He emerged wearing a clean shirt and stopped in the doorframe to smirk at Steve. “You know, oh my dearest husband, I’m just a simple country boy, I don’t understand these things. I’ll have it checked over by a lawyer and we can talk then. Thank for dropping in and maybe do me a favor and don’t burn down my house.”

With that, Bucky sauntered out the door and let it drop closed behind him while Steve hurried into the kitchen to take the burnt meal out of the oven.

Defeated, he dropped down on the couch and blankly stared and the goddamn glass statue in the kitchen when his phone started ringing. He took it out of his jeans to find Peggy’s caller id picture smiling up at him from the display. Steve let out a breath and answered the phone, feeling better immediately when he heard his fiancée’s voice on the other end.

“My darling, I’ve been talking to the owner of the boat house we were thinking having the reception at and they said they are pretty booked out. Usually we would have to wait at least 16 months for the next opening, but apparently another event fell through and now they have an opening Saturday in four months. I told him to hold it until I’ve checked with you whether that’s alright, but he wants an answer by Friday evening.”

Steve exhaled loudly. “Four months, that’s … pretty soon.”

“I know, but I’m confident we can get it organized by then, I have a whole government agency with numerous connections at my disposal after all.” Steve could hear her smirk.

“Or we could just look at another venue”, Steve suggested.

“We could”, Peggy agreed. “So should I tell him to give the date to someone else?” Steve squeezed his eyes together and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was no judgement in Peggy’s voice but he knew she had been looking forward to having the reception at this venue since it had been where they had gone for their first dinner date. And if he was being honest, Steve felt the same, and he had no doubts that four months would be more than enough to get the wedding organized with all of Peggy’s and Howard’s contacts at their disposal. The only problem was that a non-consensual divorce would take about a year, if Steve couldn’t get Bucky to sign, but he didn’t have a year.

“Steve?” He realized he had been quiet for a bit and cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I was just thinking how we could get it all done in four months. But sure, tell him to save this date for us, we’ll definitely get it all sorted out by then!”

After Steve hung up the phone he took off his necklace and slipped his engagement ring back on his ring finger for the world to see.

*

 “If it isn’t my favorite son-in-law, I already heard you were in town!” Winifred Barnes was at Steve’s side the second he had stepped into the pub and enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug.

“Soon to be ex-son-in-law,” Steve commented and held up his hand to let the ring glisten in the dim light.

Winifred whistled as she inspected the ring closely. “Well I’ll be damned. Who’s the lucky guy? Or girl?”

“Her name is Peggy, she works for a government agency.”

“Oh, well it never hurts to have a good relationship with someone in the government, that’s what I always say. Steve, what do you want to drink? The first one’s on the house!”

Winifred went back behind the bar to pour Steve his drink and then left to serve the other patrons, not without giving him a warm smile. Steve smiled back at her. He had always had a great relationship with Winifred but Steve was still quite surprised that she apparently harbored no hard feelings against him whatsoever, despite him leaving her son.

A hand came down on his shoulder and Steve turned to find Natasha and Clint standing there. Clint smiled at him before he turned his attention back to Joey, who he was carrying in his arms, while Natasha considered Steve with narrowed eyebrows.

“You bring the kid into a bar?” Steve watched as Joey happily palmed at his dad’s face. Natasha ignored his comment.

“Cut the shit, Steve, what are you doing here?”

“I’m stuck here, as you very well know, and I fancied going out for a bit. Relax, unwind… and since there are not that many options to do that in his town…” Steve held up his arms to indicate the pub.

“Right”, Natasha said. “And this has nothing to do with the fact that your soon-to-be-ex-husband is currently in the other room with his pretty date, does it?”

Steve remained silent and Natasha looked at him even more intently. “You didn’t take my advice, did you?”

“Well … we talked”, Steve murmured and avoided her eyes. “You’re a terrible liar”, Natasha commented and rested her hand on her hips. “We did talk!”

“Did you now.” Natasha was clearly unimpressed and Steve crumbled under her stare.

“It may or may not have been more like … yelling.”

Natasha groaned. “Steve, you’re impossible! So you yelled at each other again and you thought it would be a good idea to follow this up by interrupting his date? Think he’ll be more inclined to grant your wish if you piss him off even more?”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Steve’s resolve faltered and he might have called it a day and gone back to his B&B for the night if the door to the second room hadn’t opened at that precise moment to reveal a pretty young redhead resting on the edge of the pool table while Bucky was leaning into her, gently nibbling at her lower lip with a smile as her hands sneaked down his back to grab at his ass.

Steve was moving without a second thought, ignoring Natasha calling behind him and plopped his hip against the pool table right next to the redhead. “Mind if I join you?”

Bucky groaned and rolled his eyes while the women held her hand out to Steve. “Hi, I’m Dot.”

“Pleasure”, Steve replied. “I’m Steve, Bucky’s husband whom he refuses to divorce.”

“Um…” Dot clearly didn’t know how to react to that so Bucky sent her off to get another set of drinks before he glared at Steve again.

“Are you on some kind of mission to make my life miserable, Rogers?”

“Well, I didn’t start it, and you could end this very easily…”

“Oh, didn’t you?” Bucky raised his eyebrows at him but before Steve could ask for clarification there were a couple of yells from behind him and a moment later Steve found himself sandwiched between who turned out to be his old friends Luis and Scott, who jumped up and down while they had him squeezed between them and kept shouting Steve’s name over and over.

Steve was torn between being amused and genuinely annoyed that he was once again being interrupted, especially since a minute later Dot was also back with drinks for Bucky and herself and Bucky put an arm around her while he watched the spectacle of Luis and Scott in amusement.

“Why are you making me be mean to you, Buck?” Steve croaked out when he finally got air into his lungs again. “Do you really want to do this in front of all of your friends?”

“Rogers, what are you talking about, aren’t we _your_ friends, too?” Scott put a hand on his chest and pretended to be hit in the chest with something.

Steve muttered something unintelligible in response, embarrassed. “Why are you even still wearing that same old hat…”

“It’s vintage!” Scott announced and shoved Steve against the shoulder lightly.

“Yeah, let’s all just maybe chill down a bit and play a game of pool, who’s in?” Luis was already holding out queues and handing them out for everybody to grab. One round of pool turned into several, with Bucky, Dot and Clint on one team and Steve, Luis and Scott on the other, Natasha watching and occasionally making snarky comments on everyone’s technique. Round after round of alcohol was handed out and Steve felt himself get more and more lightheaded and tipsy as the evening went on while he was still nowhere near getting that signature.

“Don’t _bloooow_ it”, he found himself muttering at some point, knocking his hip against Scott’s as he bent down to take his turn, rounding the innuendo off by licking his lips seductively.

“Man, Buck, are you divorcing this dude or what because damn,” Luis commented and winked at Steve, who doubled over laughing and nearly missed Bucky’s response over the sound of his own giggles.

“He waited seven years, a couple of days more won’t kill him. And I’m pretty sure he’s taken so it’s not like you’d have a chance anyway, my dude.”

“Yeah, it’s not going to make a difference anyway, he’s just being an ass,” Steve muttered and hiccupped loudly.

“Maybe it does?” Luis straightened up and leaned against the pool table. “You might be surprised to find out that your boy Bucky here has-“

“Nah Luis”, Bucky interrupted. “Steve made up his mind about me several years ago and that’s that.”

“Some things never change,” Steve said and raised one eyebrow at Bucky who narrowed his eyes at him in return.

“Except your physique,” Luis offered. “I know I’m repeating myself, but: _Damn_!” He gave Steve another playfully suggestive look which sent the other man into another fit of giggles.

“Make a move, boys, Joey and me don’t have all night”, Natasha called from the side, cradling her little son against her chest where he was already half asleep.

Steve inched closer towards Luis. “Hey stranger, come here often?” He batted his eyelids at him in an exaggerated way.

“A move _playing pool,_ Steve, not a move on Luis,” Natasha grinned and switched Joey to her other arm.

“Aww, Natasha, you’re no fun,” Steve laughed and sidled up to Luis. “I always knew he and I had a special something, right Luis?”

“Right, Rogers. If I was going gay for anyone it would be you,” Luis agreed and they all doubled over in fits of laughter.

“Steve, really,” Natasha teased, “your soon-to-be-ex-husband is standing right here and you’re supposed to be happily engaged. You sure you need someone else on top of that?”

“Well you would know all about that, Nat, right,” Steve slurred back at her. Her smile vanished instantly and she glared at Steve. Had Steve been sober this look would have shut him up instantly, but inhibited as he was he couldn’t shut his brain or his mouth. “Maybe we should all ask Bruce what kind of example you set for me regarding fidelity and all of this stuff.” Everyone else in the pub was still laughing and drinking, but the atmosphere amongst their little group had notably changed within the last few seconds. Steve leaned on his Queue while Natasha stared at him, not even blinking, her eyes cold. Clint stood next to her gazing distractedly at something on the pool table and was rapidly clenching and unclenching his jaw. Everyone else was looking between the three of them nervously. Bucky made a small movement in Steve’s direction but Natasha stopped him with a gesture.

“What did I ever do to you, Steve?” she asked coldly.

“To me? Nothing! None of you are doing anything, and that is exactly my point! Y’all are living here in this godforsaken town. You were born here and you’re going to die here and what happens in between? Nothing! Aren’t any of you going to see the world, don’t you have any ambition? Are you really all satisfied with small-town drama? You have to bring your kid to a bar so you don’t die of boredom at home!”

“Steve…” Scott tried to intervene and stepped towards him but Steve waved him off.

“Nah, back off. Let’s drink more. Winnifred, another round for me and my friends here!” Steve was shouting and gesturing at Bucky’s mother who had entered the room and was watching them earnestly.

“My dear, I really think you’ve had enough.”

Steve looked at her for a few seconds. “You know what? You’re right. I have had enough. I leave this place for seven years. Seven goddamn years, and then I come back and what’s different? Nothing! Everyone’s doing the same old shit with the same old people, the wheel turns and nothing ever changes! I mean how do you even keep living like this?”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Bucky hissed darkly and grabbed Steve’s arm with some force to start dragging him out of the pub. Steve went willingly but kept mumbling under his breath, wondering to himself how he had gotten from laughing with Luis to this angry in a matter of just a few minutes.

 “What makes you think you have any right to act like that?” Bucky growled at Steve the moment they were through the front door. He let go of Steve’s arm and turned around to glower at him, looking livid.

“You asked for it,” Steve slurred, and then he tried to walk away, fumbling around in his pocket for the keys to his car.

“We asked for it? You turn up without warning, you give me a headache, steal my money, rearrange my house and now you prance around the pub like you think you’re better than everyone else and insult my friends when they did nothing to you at all! You’re angry with me, but you don’t need to take out your frustration on everyone else because of it! I’ve seen that you’re a far cry from the Steve Rogers I knew, these days, but now you have seriously crossed a line!”

“You stole my pen,” Steve accused, still trying to get a hold of his keys. He was seriously swaying on his feet now and his fingers didn’t quite want to cooperate as he tried to curl them round the cold metal.

“Right, that’s all you care about nowadays, isn’t it?” Bucky stalked behind Steve, having a serious advantage in that he was swaying and slurring considerably less and managed to block Steve’s way to his car over and over. “You care about the money, the glamour, the fame? Paris today, Tokyo tomorrow? You made it in glorious New York and now all of us are just dirt under the sole of your shoe, yes?”

“At least I made something of myself.” Steve was vaguely aware that he sounded whiny at this point as he looped one finger through his keyring and started pulling it out. “It’s not like you’re going places, anyway!”

“And it’s not like you still know anything about me at all!” Bucky stepped in front of Steve once more. “Oh no, you don’t,” he added and reached out to wrangle they keyring from Steve’s hand. He wasn’t able to put up much of a fight anymore, with his vision blurring and his thoughts going round in circles as he tried to process the conversation. He made up for his lack of accuracy trying to get his keys back with a lot of very loud, very whiny complaining.

“You may be an ass but you’re not killing yourself. I’m driving,” Bucky announced then, walking around the car to open the door on the driver’s side.

“Like hell you are”, Steve mumbled, crossing his arms as he stood in front of the vehicle and kept sulking.

“Fucking hell, Steve, you’re such a goddamn asshole but I’m still not letting you kill yourself on the road so just get into the fucking car!” Steve didn’t reply and Bucky let out a very annoyed grunt and marched over to Steve’s side of the car where he opened the door and gave his husband a light push which was enough to make him tumble onto the passenger seat where he promptly continued to sulk some more. Steve really didn’t want to be around Bucky right now, but truth be told he wanted his bed even more and didn’t really have a lot of energy left, so he kept his mouth shut and resorted to grumpily staring out of the windscreen as Bucky got into the driver’s seat and started the car.

*

Steve woke up to a terrible headache and bright light shining into his eyes through the window. He was vaguely aware that he was still wearing all of his clothes except his shoes and groaned at the general horribleness of the situation. It had been a very long time since he had been this hungover and he had forgotten how much it always made him wish for a sudden, painless death. Keeping his eyes firmly shut he rolled over in an attempt to drown out the light and the pain, but his face ended up against something distinctly less soft and more noisy than a cushion. With some effort he raised his head and squinted a bit, and it took him a few seconds to make sense of what was in front of his face. He was lying on top of the divorce papers, Bucky’s signature clearly visible at the bottom. Steve groaned again and rolled over onto his back, regretting it immediately when a new wave of nausea rolled through his body at this sudden movement.

It  wasn’t until several hours of sleep, a few pills of pain medication, a lot of water and very little food later that Steve finally felt up to leaving the B&B. He shuffled along the main road to the post-office to get an envelope and the stamps he needed to send the papers back to his lawyers in New York. With a deep breath Steve straightened his shoulders and dropped the letter off. He stared at it for a few seconds, waiting for a feeling of relief, anticipation, nostalgia – anything, but nothing happened, he felt as tired and hungover as before.

The worst part was that this should have been the end of it. The papers were signed and Steve had  gotten what he came for, but sadly the hangover didn’t come with a blackout of the night before and Steve felt like he had to set a few things right before he could leave for New York. There was a whole series of apologies to be made.

*

Steve found Bucky on the landing stage to the water plane where he was just getting it ready to go. Dum Dum was running up and down next to him and waggling his tail excitedly. Steve approached the two of them slowly and stopped halfway to watch as Bucky kneeled down next to the dog to laugh and ruffle him a bit in retaliation for making an excited little nuisance out of himself while Bucky was trying to work.

When Steve realized that he had merely been watching them and smiling to himself for several seconds he straightened himself and cleared his throat.

“I put the money back into your account.”

Bucky stood up to turn towards Steve, nodding without much surprise. “Thanks. Saves me from bouncing a lot of cheques actually.” He gave just the tiniest of smiles and Steve suddenly had to swallow around a lump in his throat. Bucky seemed different from how he had been these last days. The tension and the hostility in him had all but vanished, and he was standing with slumped shoulders and avoiding Steve’s eyes.

“I kind of like what you did with the place, though. Maybe I’ll keep some of the stuff. It’s a pretty unusual look for interior design in this area, I’d say.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Steve replied. “Thanks for getting me to my room, by the way. Who knows what might have happened otherwise.”

“It’s fine.” Bucky shrugged. “God knows you did the same for me often enough when we were younger.”

For a few seconds they just looked at each other and Steve’s heart broke just a little bit as an awkwardness settled between them that had never before been there between the two of them. Steve shuffled his feet a little bit, trying to find the proper words to start his apology.

“Look,” Bucky finally broke the silence. “I signed your papers. You can go home, Steve.” Bucky didn’t sound angry or even annoyed anymore, just exhausted, and it made a heavy lump settle in Steve’s gut.

“Buck, I never meant to hurt you,” he began, and Bucky looked away for a second with a sad little smile. “I remember most of what happened yesterday night and I came here to apologize. I’m really sorry about what I said, I was angry and out of my depth, and I lashed out. I was totally out of line and now that I’m sober I’m ashamed and I wish I could take it all back, but I can’t, so … I came here to say I’m sorry. You don’t deserve this.”

There was another long moment of silence. Steve felt his heart beating in his whole body and his hands were sweating. He wasn’t planning on ever coming back to this place again after this, but it was important to him that he didn’t leave with Bucky hating him. It felt like an eternity before Bucky gave the smallest nod and cleared his throat.

“I suggest you say that to Nat,” he said calmly.

Steve nodded. “I will. But I wanted to tell you first. You’re still very important to me, you know, even when I admit it doesn’t really look that way. I don’t want to go away with you thinking I think I’m better than you because I’m not. You… when you drove me back yesterday, that … you didn’t have to do that, especially not after how I treated you, so… thank you. You always were and still are a good man, Bucky Barnes and I don’t want to leave without telling you that.”

“Well,” Bucky replied, shoving his hands into his pockets and shuffling his feet. “No matter how shitty you behaved I wasn’t going to let you drive against a tree or whatever. It’s really not a big deal,” he mumbled and looked down on the pier, biting his lip as if lost in thought. “You may want to get out of the way now, if you don’t want to get wet.” With that, Bucky started walking away and busying himself with some ropes that were hanging off the side of the plane.

“Wait, that’s it? You’re just leaving?”

“Yep”, Bucky replied, popping the p and grinning to himself, suddenly back to his old, self-assured attitude. He walked a few steps and put his hand on the lever to pull open the door of the plane, but then he seemed to think better of it and turned around to face Steve once more. “You want to come?”

Steve certainly hadn’t expected that. “Where are you going?”

Bucky looked over the lake and seemed to be lost in thought for a second. “I want to show you something,” he then said.

“Show me what?”

“You’ll see.” Bucky smiled at him in earnest now and Steve suddenly felt like his teenage self again, what with the butterflies in his stomach every time this wonderful, beautiful boy smiled at him. Steve swallowed. This was dangerous territory.

“I can’t.”

Bucky’s smile faltered just the tiniest but, but he nodded as if he had been expecting this exact answer. “Can’t? Or won’t?”

“Both?” Steve hated that it sounded more like a question than a statement. He tried to gather himself in order to stick to his resolve.

“The boy I knew used to be fearless,” Bucky commented as he finally pulled open the door and started to climb in. “Come on, Dum Dum, get in here!”

Steve watched as the dog shot past him and took a leap into the plane, closely followed by his owner who pulled the door shut behind both of them.

“The boy you knew was a different person,” Steve muttered to himself, less as an actual answer and more as an assurance to himself.

*

Natasha was pulling weeds in her garden when Steve approached the house with hunched shoulders. She either didn’t notice him or, which was more likely, pretended not to until he was standing right in front of her and was awkwardly clearing his throat.

“Hey, Nat.”

She didn’t even look up or stop what she was doing. “Steve.”

“I came to apologize.”

“Hm.” She was not making it easy for him, Steve realized, and he couldn’t really blame her.

“I was way out of line. What I said about the life you all lead here, that was terrible. I mean, I chose a different path for me but looking down at you for that, it’s … it’s not who I thought I was and I’m shocked at myself that I would even think such a thing, let alone say it. And telling everyone about Bruce, I… Nat, I am so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, and I have no explanation, really.”

Natasha continued working for another few seconds before she let out a sigh and got up, clapping her hands together to shake off the dirt. They looked at each other from different sides of the garden fence and Steve felt himself start to sweat as the silence kept stretching with her face giving nothing away. Then she sighed again.

“Just for the record, Clint knew about Bruce. We talked about it before we got married. Everyone else didn’t, though, and you know how shitty a thing this was of you to do.”

Steve looked down and shifted nervously. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“Look, Steve. I know you’re under a lot of pressure because of the whole divorce situation and you want to marry your sweetheart and everything, but that’s no excuse for how you’ve been behaving. Bucky is not the only one you just ran out on seven years ago and even if he was he is our friend, too, and I think we would all have been justified in just giving you a piece of our minds when you turned up here again. We didn’t because deep down we know that you’re a good man and you had your reasons, but that doesn’t give you permission to just walk all over us. Not Bucky, not me, not anyone here.”

Steve swallowed hard and nodded.

“Maybe you think we don’t change and it’s possible you’re right about that, but you certainly have changed. You’ve made it in New York, you seem to be happy with your life there and that’s great, but from where I’m standing I’m not a big fan of this new Steve, I preferred you when you were the little guy who cared too much about everyone.”

Her words felt like a punch in the gut. How was it possible that even after so many years Natasha’s opinion still meant so much to him? For a few seconds neither of them said anything while Steve processed his friend’s words.

“Honestly? I’m beginning to think I prefer that version of me, too”, Steve concluded sheepishly.

Natasha raised an eyebrow at him but didn’t comment.

“He came to New York, you know”, she said instead. Of course Steve didn’t have to ask who she was talking about.

“Bucky? When? Why?”

“That was a few months after you left. He told us that it was nothing like he had ever seen before, everything was huge and shiny and fast. He came back without even looking for you and said he had realized that it would need more than promises and sweet talk to convince you to come back, he had to make something of himself first, and he’s been trying ever since.”

Steve knitted his brow. “What do you mean, he’s been trying, what has he been doing?”

“Steven Grant?” Steve turned around to face the owner of the voice that had just piped up behind him and found himself face to face with the journalist he and Peggy had been talking you at his exhibition. He stared dumbly at the young man for a few seconds, before he had truly processed his appearance.

“Mr… Parker, right? What are you doing here?”

“Mr. Stark sent me,” Parker informed him.

“Howard? Why?” Steve was truly confused now.

“He said you and Miss Carter were engaged but we couldn’t tell everyone yet for some reason, but- oh.” Parker just now seemed to notice Natasha and hunched his shoulders when he realized his mistake.

“It’s okay, she knows about that, go on,” Steve assured him and Parker seemed relieved not to have slipped up after just a few seconds. Natasha just seemed vaguely amused by the whole thing.

“Well, he said that the engagement was to be publicized soon, and it would be good PR for S.H.I.E.L.D., something about humanizing the director and the agency’s efforts to be relatable to the public by supporting the arts. So he said we would be publishing a piece about you as Miss Carter’s future husband, and since you had gone home to see your family he sent me to talk to your parents for some quotes and maybe childhood pictures for the article.” Parker seems to get more excited with every word while Steve started to sweat when he realized that there was no family left, let alone any named Grant, that he could have had gotten to talk to the journalist.

“Um, well, uh… sadly that won’t be possible, since, um … well, my parents are not alive anymore”, he managed to get out and saw the young reporter’s face fall.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, I didn’t mean to pry,” he said, and seemed to mean it, too. “Miss Carter said you were visiting with family, so I just assumed… well, I’ll of course gladly talk to other family members then,” he said and smiled at Steve expectantly. His thoughts were racing as he thought about how to explain his presence in this town with no living family whatsoever – well, except Bucky, of course. Not for the first time Steve found himself wishing he would have told Peggy about is previous marriage right from the start.

“Natasha Barton, Steve’s cousin, pleased to meet you,” Natasha suddenly said from behind Steve. He whipped round to see her reach over the fence to shake hands with the excited young journalist. ‘Thank you’ he mouthed, letting out a breath. ‘Last Chance, Rogers’, her look seemed to say before she turned her attention and a bright smile back towards Parker and started leading him into her house. “I’m afraid my husband and son are currently out, but I have tons of baby pictures and endless stories of Steve as a kid. Would you believe that he was quite the troublemaker when he was small? A little ball of righteous fury, always standing up for the poor and downtrodden, and artistically gifted ever since he knew how to hold a pencil! We always knew he was going to make it big, of course!”

Steve followed his pretend-cousin into the house and spent several hours of the afternoon suffering through the recounting of several old stories – not all of them exactly how he remembered them, with Natasha purposefully playing up the embarrassing parts of each one  - and Parker aww-ing and ooh-ing at old pictures of Steve and his friends, asking for copies of some of them to illustrate the article with. When he was satisfied with the pictures and information and had finished his third cup of coffee he finally got up and said his goodbyes, promising to write a great article and send a copy to Nat as soon as it got published. They both waved after him from behind the fence, both deflating notably the second he was out of sight.

“Thanks, Nat, I owe you.”

She nodded courtly and gave him a look that told him that she appreciated the sentiment but was still a bit pissed at him. “I’m impressed, though, Rogers! You maintain a fake past and even a fake name for years, and you used to be such a shit liar!”

“I didn’t lie, I just… didn’t tell everyone everything. It’s not a fake name when it’s your actual name, is it?” He grinned at her and she chuckled.

“So are you staying for the fire brigade festival tonight?”

“Oh, um, I was actually going to go back to New York, Bucky signed the papers and I already said goodbye, so…”

Natasha’s guarded expression turned into a look of surprise. “He did?” She considered this for a few seconds. “How about you stay just for old time’s sake then? It’ll be fun!”

“I don’t think a lot of people are currently very happy to see me, don’t you think?”

“No, you’re right”, Natasha agreed. “But that’s why you have to come. Don’t let last night be the last impression everyone has of you. Join us later, make amends and then leave on good terms, how about that?”

Steve knew defeat when he saw it and he accepted it with a sigh and a smile. “Okay then, I’ll be there.”

*

It was already getting dark and the paper lanterns had been lit when Steve arrived at the festival site, trailing a few steps behind Natasha and Clint. Meeting Clint a few minutes before hadn’t been as awkward as expected, and Steve was pretty sure that this was Natasha’s doing. His old friend had merely nodded in acknowledgement at Steve’s apology before clasping him on the back and ushering all of them out the door, Joey staying behind with a babysitter for the night. Steve wondered what he ever did to deserve these people, and he was eternally grateful that they had apparently decided to forgive him for the time being and give him another chance.

They approached the rest of the little group, Scott, Luis and Bucky standing together with Sharon and her husband. Steve swallowed when he saw Bucky – he had ditched his lumberjack outfit for a dark blue button-down shirt and tight-fitting jeans that did a good job at highlighting Bucky’s ass and thighs and elicit all sorts of thoughts that Steve definitely should not be having about his soon-to-be-ex-husband anymore.  Bucky was laughing at something Scott had said when Natasha drew their attention and he turned around still grinning. Steve’s belly did a flip when bright, shining eyes met his before they widened in surprise.

“Steve! I thought you’d left?”

“I thought I would have by now, to be honest, but, uh…” Steve shifted his weight awkwardly. “Natasha convinced me to stay, and I thought it might be a good opportunity to show people that I can be at a party without making an embarrassment of myself?” He glanced over to Scott and Luis and hunched his shoulders. They both shrugged in response.

“Fair enough”, Scott declared and that was that. Clint returned a few minutes later with a couple of glasses of beer and they fell into light, easy conversation and Steve could slowly feel the tension drain out of his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how he ever got lucky enough to have friends like this, but he was immensely relieved that they had apparently all forgiven him. Maybe not forgotten, but forgiven at least.

“Hey Barton, did you ever catch that car thief you told us about last week?” Luis wanted to know.

Clint rolled his eyes. “Turns out it was some kids on a dare. Stupid little punks.” He side-eyed Steve for a second with a smirk. “Do this kind of shit and all it leads to is a dressing down from their parents and a lot of paperwork for me.”

Steve looked down at his glass, chuckling softly. He felt eyes on him and glanced up to meet Bucky’s gaze, who was looking at him with a fond little smile. Steve’s stomach did another flip and he could feel himself blush, so he quickly looked back down, swirling the liquid in his glass around nervously. It was then that he noticed the actual glass and appreciated the design, which looked really delicate for a small town fire brigade festival. He raised the glass up to his face to inspect it closer, and then even higher to get a good look at the bottom of it where something seemed to be engraved.

“Um, Steve, you’re supposed to drink that from the top,” Luis informed him and everyone laughed.

“I know that, smartass, I’m just trying to find out what this is … Red Star Glass, it says. It’s so pretty, I wonder where they bought it.”

“Hey Bucky, Steve would like to know where he can get some of that Red Star Glass?” Scott asked with a very strange tone to his voice.

“Why ask me?” Bucky raised an eyebrow and waved his hand in the general direction of Steve’s glass. “Not like I’m up to date about all of this fancy stuff.”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because you-ow!” Scott rubbed his flank where Natasha had just elbowed him and was now feigning innocence.

Steve narrowed his eyes. “I’m missing something here, aren’t I?”

“Yes you are”, Sharon piped up. “You’re at a festival and you’re not dancing. This cannot stand, come on!” And that’s how Steve found himself on the dance floor a few minutes later, laughing with Sharon and twirling her around clumsily to the beat of the song. There was a live band on stage and the crowd was in high spirits, hollering and celebrating happily. Two songs passed and Steve was having a ball. He had never been the best of dancers but that didn’t mean that he didn’t enjoy it – he just hadn’t done it in a really long time, at least not as frisky as this.

Everyone else was suddenly beside them – Natasha and Clint were doing a very complicated routine while Luis and Scott were just hopping around together, having a ton of fun but no finesse whatsoever. Bucky and Sharon’s husband Mike were hanging back a little bit and grinned at everyone else. They didn’t seem to know what do to with each other, though, so they just shuffled from side to side and bent into awkward poses every now and then.

“Oh that’s rich,” Sharon commented, feigning offence. “I ask you to dance and you always make all sorts of excuses, but then you let yourself get dragged to the dancefloor by Barnes of all people?”

“Well, I mean, he was very persuasive,” Mike laughed, and Sharon shook her head at him fondly.

“I’m sorry, Steve, but this is an opportunity I cannot let slip by.” And with that, Sharon threw herself into her husband’s arms and they were dancing away together, leaving Steve and Bucky looking at each other in the middle of the excited crowd.

“Um,” Steve said, glancing around to find that all his friends were either out of sight or still pretty much engaged in their own dancing. Bucky suddenly started moving to the beat, looking over at Steve, and before he knew it he was doing the same, and they were moving together and grinning at each other dumbly, all awkwardness gone. Bucky had just taken Steve’s hand and prompted him to do a turn under his outstretched arm when the song ended and was replaced with a slower one.

There were all of two seconds in which nothing happened, but then Bucky tucked lightly at Steve’s hand and before Steve could really think about what was happening he was in his partner’s arms and they were slowly swaying to the music.

Steve didn’t know what to do with his head at first. He wanted to look at Bucky, but his face was way too close and his eyes way too blue for that, so he rested his chin on his shoulder and kept his eyes closed in an attempt to pretend that he was lost in the beauty of the music. Really he was just enjoying the comfortable warmth that Bucky radiated within the chill of the evening, though.

“Remember when we used to do this all the time?” Steve murmured into Bucky’s hair.

“Mhm.”

“You always tried to teach me to dance, I was just never a very good student,” Steve chuckled.

“Always very enthusiastic, though.”

“Yeah, I suppose … our wedding dance was a disaster.” Steve grinned at the memory.

Bucky tilted his head downwards to rest his brow against Steve’s shoulder with a playful groan. “To everyone who knows the first thing about dancing it was probably actually physically painful to watch.”

“But fun.”

“But fun,” Bucky agreed. “Dancing was always fun with you, proper technique be damned.”

Steve laughed. “How is my swaying going right now in terms of technique?” He could feel Bucky smile against his cheek.

“Full marks for the swaying, I’d say.”

The song ended and was once again replaced by a fast, more upbeat piece. Barely a second later Steve founded himself swooped up by Scott and Luis. They dragged him into a very strange three-person dance routine that Steve had no chance of keeping up with, so he just ended up stumbling around between his friends as they all did their best to keep up with the beat and doubled over with laughter. He looked over at where they had left Bucky standing, and found him looking back with a soft smile on his face before he was concealed by the crowd. When Steve next saw him he was standing at the side of the dance floor with Clint and Natasha, the latter of which was talking to him earnestly, looking almost a tiny bit concerned, but Steve figured that was probably just a trick of the light.

The three of them kept dancing for a while longer before they rejoined their friends with new drinks and they fell into easy conversation and playful teasing. Natasha and Clint excused themselves first, needing to go home to relieve their babysitter off her duties, closely followed by Sharon and Mike. Steve went to get new drink for the rest of them, but when he came back he just found Scott and Luis there who told him that Bucky had excused himself to go home, claiming that he was not feeling well. Steve couldn’t ignore the feeling of disappointment he felt that Bucky had just left without saying goodbye, but he tried to tell himself that he probably had that coming and it was probably some last petty act of revenge that Bucky was executing. Steve couldn’t blame him.

They lounged around a little while longer, sipping their drinks, before Scott suggested going home to watch some Netflix, but Steve didn’t feel up for it. “I need to catch an early flight tomorrow,” he informed his friends before he hugged them and promised to actually keep in touch this time. He thought he might invite them all for his wedding in New York, but he would have to revisit that feeling when he was completely rested and sober.

The way to the B&B was a ten-minute walk but Steve decided to take a detour for a longer way to clear his head. It hadn’t been a conscious decision to take this route, but a few minutes later he found himself at the entry gate of the cemetery and came to a halt looking at the slightly ajar gate, considering. He couldn’t have said how long it took him, in the end, but finally he found himself slowly walking between the graves, slowly approaching the spot he remembered from his mother’s funeral.

Sarah Rogers’ grave was simple but beautiful, a classy marble headstone with her name and the dates of her birth and death. _Beloved mother,_ it said underneath and Steve had to swallow hard as the wave of guilt hit him with unexpected strength. He had been paying for someone to take care of the grave for the last couple of years but he hadn’t actually been here since the funeral. He just couldn’t face it at the time. Then he had left town and blocked out thoughts of that lonely grave on the far away cemetery, reminded only by the monthly item on his account statements that his eyes had gotten used to carefully skipping over each month.

Steve sat down hard on the ground, dragging his knees to his chest as he tried to fight down the lump in his throat.

“Hey, Mom.” His voice came out raspy but he figured it didn’t matter now. “I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. I don’t know where you are right now, but… I’m choosing to believe that you’re there, watching, and you can hear me…” Steve swallowed again and cleared his throat. He felt a little bit weird just talking to himself like that with no indication that anyone could hear him, but right now it felt like that was exactly what he needed to do, having finally made it to this spot.

“For as long as I can remember I just wanted to do what was right. I used to care so much all the time and I tried to stand up against injustice and for what I believed in.  You were there with me every step of the way. But when you died, mom, everything changed. At first it felt like the world had ended and everything reminded me of you. The places we had been together, jokes you would have made, the people who loved you… and everyone was trying their best to help me, be there for me and they were all doing their best, but it still felt like I was suffocating until one day I just stopped caring altogether. I can’t even remember what triggered that, in the end.”

Steve leaned forward to rest his chin on his knees, and he frowned to himself.

“Bucky meant well, I can see that today. I didn’t realize at the time how much he was also grieving, how much stronger he was than me, trying to keep me together despite his own pain when I was just falling, falling…” The tears were coming freely now, flowing down his cheeks and leaving wet stains on his shirt. “I felt like he didn’t understand me at all and we had a big fight … it was like he thought we could just go on like nothing had changed, when in fact everything had changed. I just needed to get out, I… I left everyone behind, I left _you_ behind and I’ve been so selfish ever since and I just disappointed everyone so much…”

“I think she would be very proud of you, Steve,” a voice said softly behind him.

Steve whipped his head around and quickly scrambled to his feet to face Bucky, who was standing a few feet away with his hands in his pockets. Steve wiped at his face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to listen in.” Bucky was tentatively stepping closer. “I just… I mean, I understand, some nights I’m here to talk to her, too.”

“You are?” Steve asked him with a shaky voice. Bucky nodded and stepped next to Steve, looking down at the grave sadly.

They stayed like this for a while, considering everything they’d lost together. There was only the quiet sound of crickets and a car driving by in the distance. It was a strange feeling, Steve thought, he should’ve been angry that Bucky had snuck up on him, awkward about his breakdown, but in a way he felt lighter, relieved, as if by standing like this like they were sharing something important.

“Steve, I’m sorry about how everything turned out”, Bucky finally said quietly, not looking up. “I didn’t mean to suffocate you-“

“No, Bucky, you-“ Steve tried to interrupt, but Bucky held up a hand.

“Please, let me get this out.”

Steve let out a breath.

“I can’t even remember a time before I fell in love with you, it was always just one of the basic facts of my life, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers are in love and that’s just how it always was and always would be. Your Mum, I think she knew that even before either of us really did.” Bucky chuckled softly, but he was still not looking at Steve.

“My mistake was to think that this would always be enough, that as long as the two of us were together life could throw at us whatever it wanted and we would always come out on top. I was wrong. When Sarah died, I thought my love would be enough to help you through it, but it wasn’t all you needed and I didn’t realize it at the time.”

“How could you, I wasn’t exactly helping,” Steve murmured.

“The thing is,” Bucky continued as if Steve hadn’t even spoken at all, “I always thought the love we had was special, larger than life, but the reality of it was that we were a couple like everyone else and all I could give you was a basic domestic life with a white picket fence and a dog in a small town, and I thought that would be all we needed because it was for me. But you were always meant for more and I think deep down I always knew that but I didn’t realize what it meant until it was too late. But it turns out I was right.” Finally Bucky looked up to meet Steve’s eyes and his gaze softened as he took in the silent tears that had started falling once more.

“I’ve read the articles, Steve. You’ve done well for yourself and now the whole world knows how special you are. I’m proud of you, and I think Sarah would be, too.” Bucky reached out to wipe gently at the tears on Steve’s face and all Steve could do was lean into the touch and try to get a hold of himself without much success.

“Nothing about what we had was basic, Buck,” he whispered and covered Bucky’s hand with his own. Bucky stepped closer and stroked Steve’s cheek with his thumb. Neither of them spoke for a second and they just looked at each other, and Steve’s breath hitched and he saw Bucky’s eyes flick down to his lips. Almost automatically he found himself leaning in slightly, but Bucky settled for pulling Steve in for a close hug, touching their cheeks together as they clung at each other.

“Go home, Stevie,” Bucky whispered into his ear.  The image of their – no, Bucky’s – house at the other side of town flashed in front of Steve’s eyes before it was drowned out by the skyscrapers of New York. “May you find all the happiness in the world.” He placed a light kiss on Steve’s cheek before he pulled away. When he turned all Steve could do was watch as his former love kept walking towards the gate and was eventually swallowed up by the darkness of the night.

“You too, Buck,” he replied quietly.

*

The sunlight was flowing through the big windows of Peggy’s apartment when Steve arrived. He saw a glimpse of brown hair and red lips from the corner of his eye and all he could do was drop his bag before Peggy was in his arms, kissing him fiercely as if they hadn’t seen each other for months rather than just a couple of days.

“My love, how are you?” she asked him happily and pulled back to get a good look at him. “Did you have fun with your friends? Are they all coming to the wedding?”

“Yeah, maybe. I was going to send them the actual invitations so they can formally RSVP, because like Howard keeps telling me this is a society wedding and proper etiquette needs to be maintained,” Steve joked.

“Good plan, better do what Howard says,” she replied with a laugh before slinging her arms around his neck to kiss him again, more hungry this time. Then her hands were at his collar where she started to loosen the buttons before Steve caught her hands in his.

“I’m actually really tired, the flight left so early and I didn’t get a lot of sleep. Maybe you can just tell me what’s been going on?”

“Hmm, okay,” she agreed, sounding only a tiny bit disappointed before leading him to the living room where they both dropped down on the couch. “I booked the boat house like we agreed on the phone, but I told them we would come in together sometime next week to go through all the details about catering, decorations and so forth. What we need to do ourselves is bring someone to do the music and we also need to figure out what we’ll be wearing. I already went dress shopping this week with Angie and I haven’t decided on a dress, yet, but the selection in one particular shop was very promising. They said when I’ve decided I can send you in so they can recommend you something that will look good with my dress, or give you a fabric sample if you’d rather shop somewhere else.”

“Sounds great,” Steve agreed, relaxing into the couch and listening fondly to all of Peggy’s ideas about the wedding. He didn’t actually have a lot of requirements of his own. His last wedding had been a very simple affair and if it were up to him this one would be as well, but Peggy was excited about everything and he loved making her happy so he was perfectly fine with agreeing with most of what she suggested.

*

The next few days went on like this and Steve didn’t have a lot of time to wind down with all the urgent wedding business going on and his new-found fame crashing down on him. There were interviews to be done and events to be attended, all of which came with being the hot young art sensation with just a tiny touch of mystery to him who was also dating the hottest young bachelorette in town. Howard Stark kept nagging him about making a statement to the press announcing the engagement, claiming that it would be better to announce it themselves rather than waiting for the press to figure it out – which, with all the preparations going on, grew more and more likely every day, no matter how discreet they tried to be – but Steve kept putting him off. He didn’t even really know himself what his reservations were about it and Howard certainly didn’t understand either, but for now he had been successful with his stalling.

It took Peggy exactly four days to decide on a dress and two days later Steve found himself entering the shop, his best friend turned best man Sam Wilson in tow. Choosing a suitable suit actually didn’t turn out to be hard – the attendants had already found a couple that would fit with Peggy’s dress choice, and they kept telling him how with his physique basically everything would look good on him, anyway. Sam apparently agreed although he couldn’t keep himself from making a ton of innuendos that had Steve blush, and Steve took revenge by making him try on a bunch of suits of his own, insisting against Sam’s resistance that as his best man Steve would be the one paying for it. Sam finally caved and after just a little over an hour they exited the shop, leaving behind orders for two suits that together were probably more expensive than the whole of Steve’s first wedding.

“So,” Sam said as they were strolling down the street to get coffee. “I take it you took care of your… little problem.”

Steve winced.

“If you mean divorcing Bucky, yes. He signed the papers and I sent them to the lawyers. Confirmation should be here any day now.”

“And everything between the two of you is over and done with? No feelings there anymore?”

Steve avoided Sam’s eyes. “Sure.”

Sam nodded dubiously but decided not to comment further. “And I assume Peggy still doesn’t know?”

Steve shook his head. “I think I passed the moment where I could’ve reasonably told her, but it’s over and done with now, anyway, so I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Your name isn’t even Steven Grant, though”, Sam mused as he walked through the door to the coffee place Steve was holding open for him.

“Yes it is. Grant’s my middle name.”

“You know what I mean. I mean, it’s your relationship in the end, but I just think if you marry someone you’d want to at least know their real name first, but maybe I’m just old fashioned that way.” There was some real concern underneath Sam’s sarcasm.

“We’ve been dating for over a year. I don’t know how to tell her now, how can I just go – oh hey,  by the way, actually my name is Rogers but I’ve not been using that name since I came to New York so people wouldn’t go poking around in my past. What’s new with you, darling?”

“Hm,” Sam said but didn’t press the subject, getting in line to order coffee instead.

*

Peggy was sitting on Steve’s couch, flipping through a magazine. When Steve walked through the room behind her something caught his eye so he walked a few steps back to lean over the backrest and point to an advertisement on the page Peggy was reading.

“Red Star Glass,” he announced. “They had that at a festival when I went home last week.”

“Oh?” Peggy was distracted by the article next to the ad.

“Yeah, it was really pretty, almost too delicate to be used at an outdoor festival like that.”

“That’s a coincidence then,” Peggy said before she turned her head to place a kiss on Steve’s cheek and then turned her attention back to the magazine. Steve glanced to the bottom of the page and took in the web address of the brand. Then he got his laptop and pulled up the website in an attempt to find out where it was sold. “Huh, weird,” he murmured when the address for the company came up as barely ten miles from his home town. He shouldn’t be surprised about it, he figured then, with the festival using their merchandise it made a lot of sense that the company would be nearby. Maybe they were sponsoring them or someone knew an executive of the company or something.

Steve was unsuccessful trying to find an online store for the site, but when he clicked the link for latest news he was informed that the company would be opening their fourth brand store less than a one hour drive from New York City next week. There would be champagne and a lot of special offers to kick off the new location.

“Hey Peg, you want to come to a store opening next week?”

“What?” she called back from the other room.

“The Red Star Glass company is opening a new store. I thought we might go, see if we can find something pretty for when we move into our joint apartment after the wedding?”

“When is it?”

Steve checked the website again. “Friday.”

There was some rustling from the living room which Steve thought came from Peggy hunting down her phone. “Works for me,” she called after a second, and so it was settled.

*

Steve was driving, Peggy on the passenger seat with Sam and Angie sitting in the back. They had decided to turn the whole thing into a small road trip and buy lunch for their best man and maid of honor as an early thank you gift for being there and supporting them. Everyone was still quietly content from the lunch they had just had, happy to just sit in comfortable silence when they pulled up to the location of the new store. It was a two-story wooden building with large windows in the middle of a busy commercial street. The doors had supposedly opened ten minutes ago and a small crowd of people had gathered inside.

Without much hurry the four of them got out of the car to join the other guests inside the store. They were handed a flyer each with a bunch of coupons and a timetable for the day. Supposedly the owner would be making a speech in about fifteen minutes. They walked around through the store, looking at the merchandise – there were all sorts of glasses from regular drinking glasses in various shapes and colors to beautiful figurines some of which would look good in his own flat, Steve thought. The overall design of the collection really spoke to him and he was sure he would be getting a few items before he left later today.

The store consisted of two rooms and it was hard to get through to the opening to the other half through the large crowd of people. Finally Steve made it through and stopped dead in his tracks the moment he took in the items on the centerpiece. There were a bunch of figures in odd shapes, beautifully twisted in every direction, just like the one on Bucky’s headboard. Just like the one they had discovered when they had kissed during the thunderstorm on that beach…

Steve’s ears were ringing and he hardly realized when his companions came to stand next to him and Sam pulled him out of his stupor.

“Says here this is what happens when lightning hits sand,” Sam read from a sign in front of the figures. “Wow, I didn’t know that, cool, huh?”

“Yes, very cool,” Steve murmured and swallowed hard in an attempt to get a grip.

“You alright, man? You look white as a sheet.”

“Yeah, fine.” Sam, Peggy and Angie were all looking at him worriedly and Steve attempted to smile to put them at ease. Peggy put a hand on his arm but before she could say anything else there was a bell ringing and the crowd fell silent.

Steve looked up to see Bucky standing on top of the stairs, smiling at the crowd happily, and it felt like a rug was pulled out from underneath him. Bucky was looking sharp, wearing a suit with a dress shirt, the first button undone, his hair combed back neatly.

“Hello everyone, my name is James Barnes and I’m the owner of Red Star Glass. I’m happy to welcome you all here for the opening of our fourth store in the country, and I hope there will be many more to follow in the months and years to come. We’ve had some wonderful success recently and I want to thank everyone who participated in making my dream come to life.” Steve kept staring at Bucky but he barely registered the words he was saying. It was Natasha’s voice that was ringing in his ears instead. ‘He had to make something of himself first,’ she had said. ‘He’s been trying ever since.’ Steve felt like he would faint any minute. How didn’t he put all of this together at the festival?

The speech ended at some point and Steve forced himself to join everyone, still feeling like someone had hollowed him out from the inside. Bucky descended the stairs and was greeting some people at the bottom with a big, bright smile on his face.

“Steve, you still don’t look very good, are you sure you’re alright?” Sam was looking at him again and Steve shook his head.

“That’s Bucky”, Steve croaked out.

“What?” Sam looked confused for a second, but then his eyes widened and he looked between Steve and the stairs quickly. “ _That’s_ Bucky!?”

“What, who’s Bucky?” Peggy was still holding Steve’s arm, looking at him in concern.

“Bucky. James Barnes. He’s-“

“Steve?”

Steve’s stomach turned again. Bucky was standing right in front of him, looking between him and his companions in astonishment. He knew he should be saying something right now, anything, but his mind was completely blank. The silence between them seemed to drag on before Sam stepped forward and held out a hand.

“Sam Wilson,” he said and nodded when Bucky took his hand to shake it. “I’m Steve’s friend from New York, this is our friend Angie and this is Peggy. Steve’s fiancée.” If Peggy noticed the strange tone that came with the last word she didn’t let on, but Bucky definitely caught it, if the way he swallowed and his eyes flicked over to her nervously was anything to go by.

“James Barnes, pleased to meet you,” he said before shaking hands with the two women as well.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Peggy answered and smiled at Bucky. Steve wanted to throw up. “You two know each other?” She gestured between Steve and Bucky.

“Yeah, we, um, we’re old friends from where Steve grew up, actually,” Bucky explained and Peggy’s eyes lit up happily.

“He’s my husband.” Steve said quietly. Peggy’s head whipped around. Sam gasped, Bucky froze, and Angie looked between everyone in confusion.

“What?”

“He’s my husband,” Steve repeated a little bit louder.

“Steve,” Bucky said softly, barely audible through the chatter of the other guests around them.

“I mean, ex-husband. We married ten years ago, we’ve been separated for seven. It’s why I went home last week, to finalize the divorce.”

Peggy stared at Steve, her expression unreadable. Then she turned to Bucky who looked like he was suffering from a bad toothache, searching his face for confirmation. She seemed to find it there, since her features hardened, and she straightened up.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Barnes, but I’m afraid I have to get some fresh air. I’ll be outside,” she declared shortly and turned to leave the store, closely followed by Angie.

“Steve, I’m sorry, I didn’t intend…”

“Not your fault, Buck. I should’ve told her sooner,“ Steve said quietly and although Sam didn’t comment on that the unspoken ‘I told you so’ was clear as day. Steve felt like he was watching reality through a filter, and every sound seemed numb. “I… I need to go after her, explain everything…” He turned to leave. After barely two steps he turned to face Bucky again, who was still looking after him with a stunned expression on his face.” Congratulations on all of this, Buck,” he said with a small but genuine smile, gesturing to indicate the whole store. “It’s fantastic, I love it. I’m so proud of you.” Bucky’s eyes widened. Steve couldn’t find it within himself to wait for an answer but left the store instead to go find Peggy.

*

The drive home turned out to be the most awkward and painful hour of Steve’s life. Peggy silently slid into the backseat without giving him a chance to explain anything, and in the car there wasn’t really any talk to be had with Sam and Angie uncomfortably shifting in their seats as well. Steve dropped everyone else off at their homes before he drove to Peggy’s place, getting out of the car to follow her into her apartment. For a second she looked like she was going to stop him but then seemingly decided against it, leaving the door open for Steve to walk inside behind her.

Steve found her in the living room where she had settled on the sofa and was facing the armchair he was apparently supposed to sit down in.

“Explain,” Peggy prompted him and Steve took a breath to steady himself. He was shaking all over and he was sure it was audible in his voice as well. Where was he even supposed to start?

He decided to tell her about the events chronologically. From his and Bucky’s childhood, growing up together and gradually falling for each other in the process. The awkwardness when their relationship had shifted at first slowly turning into a secure, happy relationship that was ultimately crowned by a simple but beautiful wedding and almost three years of marital bliss before Steve’s mother had died and everything had gone to shit.

He told her about leaving, about starting fresh in New York, making a new life for himself, new friends and a career. How after almost two years he had half-heartedly started to send Bucky the divorce papers every couple of months to no avail, until he had given up on that, too, and instead opted to just ignore everything about his former life. How he had met Peggy and fallen for her head over heels, and somehow he had pushed his still unfinished divorce so far to the back of his mind until the moment to tell her about it had somehow passed and it didn’t seem to matter anymore until suddenly time was of the essence.

He told her he was sorry and meant it, he told her he loved her and meant that, too, and he asked her whether she still wanted him.

Peggy listened the whole time without interrupting once and kept silent for a minute or two even after Steve had finished.

“Thank you for telling me all of this, Steve. I…” For a second she struggled, a rare crack in her perfectly controlled exterior. “I think I need some time to digest all this. I can’t decide anything right now.”

“I understand.” Steve nodded, because he did understand even if it killed him to not know whether he had irrevocably fucked up this relationship as well. He knew he should give her space, though, so he took his cue to rise and leave for his own apartment.

Two days passed in which Steve heard nothing from Peggy and had to fight the urge to call her or text her or simply turn up on her doorstep. The ball was in her court. There was a text from Natasha, though: ‘ _Bucky told me what happened, is everything okay with you and your finacée?’’idk yet, I hope it will be,’_ Steve wrote back and decided to leave it at that even when Natasha sent him a frowny face emoji back.

On day three Steve found Peggy waiting in front of his door when he got back from the museum. He felt his pulse hammering in his neck straight away, but her face didn’t give anything away until they were both inside and standing in front of each other awkwardly.

“I’ve thought a lot about what you said, and about us,” she began. “You have a past. Fine. Who doesn’t? You lied by omission back when we got serious and ever since. Can I get over that? Yes, I think with everything you told me now I think in time I can, if we promise to be honest with each other from now on. And then the only question that remains is whether there is still a place for me in your future?”

 In a second Steve had crossed the space between them to pull her into his arms. “Of course there is,” he whispered into her ear, and Peggy hugged him back tightly and smiled against his cheek.

*

It was a week later that they found themselves at the boat house to go through everything that needed to be sorted out about the wedding reception. Sam and Angie were there as well, offering their opinions on issues such as decorations and seating. The location’s manager had gotten the representatives of the catering firms to meet them there as well, so there was a wide range of different foods and cakes to sample in between a ton of decoration suggestions that were laid out for them to decide on.

“Best wedding ever,” Sam declared and Steve was suddenly reminded of Clint, grinning to himself as he imagined the face that his old friend would make at this display. He hadn’t heard back from him and Natasha yet but hoped they would come to the wedding so Steve would be able to see Clint’s reaction in person.

Steve shoved a piece of cake into his mouth and nodded at Peggy, who was expecting his verdict with a raised eyebrow.

“This is amazing, let’s have this one.” Steve would’ve eaten the whole thing if there hadn’t been so much more food yet to sample.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Peggy smiled at him and let the caterer know that they would like this cake as the bottom layer of the wedding cake, please.

“By the way,” the catering firm employee piped up, “for the presentation of the desserts we are working with this new company called Red Star Glass, they are still pretty new but they have really innovative, elegant designs and seem to be really catching attention lately, if you want to take a look here.” She motioned towards a table right at the wall where a wide array of Red Star Glass merchandise had been arranged for them. Steve took a shuddering breath.

“Um, we are familiar with the firm, but … if you have any other options that would be great. There are personal reasons,” he added when the woman looked a bit disappointed.

“We do indeed.” She pointed towards another table where the products of a different firm had been placed. Steve looked towards Peggy and she gave a quick nod to indicate her agreement and a note was made on the order forms.

There was a commotion at the door and when Steve looked over he saw one of the employees talking to someone who Steve could not make out right outside the door. The discussion seemed to go on for quite a bit while the five of them kept walking along the table to sample some of the dessert options. After a while the employee walked over from the door to the manager and spoke quietly into his ear.

“If you’d excuse me for a second,” the manager sighed. “I think I need to sort out something really quick, I’ll be back as fast as I can.” They nodded and the man walked off to join the conversation at the door. Barely a minute later he was back, looking concerned and heading straight for Steve.

“Um, Mr. Grant, this gentleman over there says he’s your lawyer and he needs to talk to you urgently, it absolutely cannot wait until you’re done here? We are not sure about him, though, because he keeps insisting on calling you Mr. Rogers. Do you know him? If not we can have him escorted away.”

Steve turned his head to find that it was indeed his lawyer Mr. Murdoch standing in the doorway, looking annoyed at being told off by staff and clutching a folder to his chest.

“Let him come in, it’s alright,” Steve told the manager and a few seconds later Mr. Murdoch was heading straight for Steve.

“Mr. Rogers, can I please talk to you in private for a second?”

“It’s fine, everything you have to say you can discuss in front of my fiancée and my friends,” Steve assured him.

“Well, it’s about-“ Murdoch began and looked over to Peggy awkwardly, lowering his voice, “-the divorce?”

“Yes?” Steve asked. “Is it done?”

“Um.” The lawyer shifted his weight nervously. “No, actually.”

“What? Why not? My ex signed the papers like he was supposed to, didn’t he?”

Murdoch nodded. “He did. You didn’t.”

He opened the folder to show Steve the signature page of the documents. There was Bucky’s signature at the bottom but the line above it, where Steve was supposed to sign, was empty. Steve stared at it, dumbfounded. The empty space on the page was staring him in the face like it was laughing at him, and he wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh or cry at the absurdity of it all.

“So if Steve signs this now,” Peggy asked matter-of-factly, “will everything with the divorce go through in time for us to get married as planned in a few weeks?”

The lawyer nodded. “Yes, I don’t see why not. Both parties agreed to the divorce so everything else is just a formality now. That should work out fine.”

“Steve?” Only at Peggy’s question did he realize that he was still staring at the folder dumbly and hadn’t said anything in quite some time. He took a breath to collect himself.

“Does anyone have a pen?” There was some rustling and Mr. Murdoch produced one, but Sam was faster. He stepped into Steve’s field of vision and held out a pen for him to grab, giving him an intense look to go along with it. “These things don’t just happen, you know,” he said cryptically. Steve gazed back at him before he was briefly distracted by a twinkle from the far side of the room. The Red Star Glass samples, looking perfectly innocent the way they were still neatly stacked on the table, but taunting him with the way the sun was making them sparkle like a sign from above.

Steve looked down at the paper and put his hand with the pen at the beginning of the line where his signature was supposed to go. He was acutely aware that there were eight pairs of eyes on him, everyone waiting so they could all get on with their business.

He looked back over to the glasses.

He looked back down on the paper.

Then there were a few moments of absolute silence before he looked up at Peggy. He could tell that she knew what he was going to say before he even opened his mouth.

“You don’t want to marry me,” he breathed.

“I don’t?” Her tone was level, controlled, but her eyes were sad. Steve shook his head, dropping the pen.

“No, you don’t. Not really. In the long run we’ll just make each other unhappy, because the truth is … I gave away my heart a long time ago. My whole heart.” Steve could hear his own voice break. “And I never really got it back. I don’t know what else to say but I’m sorry. I love you, but I can’t marry you.”

Steve was once again impressed at Peggy’s calm and dignity even after he had just embarrassed her in front of their two best friends, the lawyer and four employees. The struggle was clear in her eyes and it took her a moment, but when she spoke her voice was firm.

“I see,” she said. “I should wish you all the happiness in the world but it may take me a while before I can sincerely do that.”

“I understand.”

They looked at each other for a second longer, an unspoken but sincere apology and a broken heart between them, before Peggy turned her head. “Excuse me.” Angie was looking behind her as Peggy walked out, clearly torn between immediately following her friend and giving Steve a piece of her mind. She settled for giving Steve the dirtiest of looks before she hurried after Peggy, leaving behind Steve and Sam in the company of a couple of pretty stunned looking people.

“Sam, I think I need to go home. Right now,” Steve mused distractedly.

“I think you do,” Sam replied, catching his meaning right away. “Go get your boy.”

Steve walked out, walking faster by the second until he was running towards a taxi, the driver of which seemed absolutely unperturbed be Steve’s urgency but still dropped him off at the airport in a relatively decent amount of time. Steve hurried towards the counter, desperate to get a ticket on the next flight that would take him home, breathing a sigh of relief when he held it in his hands. It was three hours before the plane would take off, though, so he sat down at a coffee place where he kept jiggling his leg and playing with the small packet of sugar that had come with his coffee. Three hours had never felt this long before.

He didn’t know why he felt like there was suddenly no time to lose after him and Bucky had been apart for seven years, but the realization that he was still very much in love with his not-in-fact-ex-husband had been sudden and overwhelming and he felt like he might combust if he didn’t go back to tell him straight away.

It felt like the longest flight in the history of everything ever, but finally he was sitting in another rental car and speeding towards his home town, ignoring the wind and the dark clouds that were gathering on the horizon. When he pulled up in front of their house he saw that Bucky’s car wasn’t there, but Steve got the spare key out of its hiding place anyway to go in to check. The house was empty.

It started to rain when he was back in his car, going to the town center to go look for his husband, but he only found Winifred Barnes instead.

“Do you know where Bucky is?” He called at her from the opened car window.

“Steve?” She looked at him in surprise, coming up next to his car with an umbrella spread wide. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to find your son, can you tell me where he is? Please, it’s important!”

“There’s a thunderstorm coming up so he’s probably at the beach putting lightning rods in the sand for his funny glass sculptures.”

“Thank you,” Steve called and then he was off before his mother-in-law could add anything else. A few minutes later he stopped the car right next to Bucky’s in a parking space next to the beach. Dum Dum was watching Steve curiously from the back seat. It was raining in earnest now and lightning was illuminating the sky. Steve had no umbrella with him and was soaking wet instantly, but right now he couldn’t have cared less. He stumbled over the wet sand onto the beach and looked around to find several metal poles sticking out in regular intervals. When the next flash of lightning gave off some light he could barely make out a dark figure a little distance away, working his way through the remaining metal despite the weather conditions.

Steve called out to him, but Bucky didn’t hear. He stumbled forward between the rods and called out again. This time Bucky seemed to have heard something because he turned around and squinted, trying to make out who had called for him. His eyes widened almost comically when he saw who it was.

“Steve, what the fuck are you doing here, this is dangerous!” he yelled over the noise of the rain and the thunder.

“You’re here, too,” Steve yelled back, grinning at him when Bucky just rolled his eyes at that. And even though he was soaking wet and he was standing in a wide open space during a thunderstorm suddenly all the nervousness and the urgency was gone, because suddenly he was sure that this was right.

“Where’s your fiancée?” Bucky asked, walking past Steve to put up another stick, trying his best to look as uninterested in Steve as he could muster.

“I don’t have a fiancée anymore. What I do have is a husband, though, and I’m looking right at him.”

Bucky froze for a moment and then turned around slowly to frown at Steve. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I never signed the papers, so apparently you and I are still married.” Bucky only stood there with a blank look on his face. “Why did you come to New York, Buck? Why didn’t you seek me out there?” Steve continued softly.

“I figured I needed to make something of myself, first. Become someone.”

“Well, are you done now?”

Bucky laughed. “You tell me, Steve.”

Steve stepped closer. “You’ve always been someone, Buck. For a while I was just so dumb that I forgot. But I love you. I always have and I always will. You were the first boy I ever kissed and I want you to be the last, too.”

 “Are you even sure you know what you want now? Took you fucking long enough,” Bucky huffed.

“I am.”

“And what is that?”

Steve walked another step closer and took Bucky’s face in both hands and smiled, his heart doing a somersault when he found Bucky smiling back instantly. “To be able to kiss you whenever I want.”

And so he leaned in to let their lips meet, because he was sure that Bucky, too, remembered their first kiss on this very beach in that other thunderstorm all that time ago, and if this wasn’t what fate looked like, then Steve didn’t know what was.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this enough to want to rec this to others you can find a very convenient rebloggable post [right here!](http://anice-1.tumblr.com/post/164454585554/home-is-where-the-heart-is-written-by-anice-1) :)  
> And if you want to cry some more about these two dumb boys with me you're very welcome to join me on [my tumblr!](http://anice-1.tumblr.com)


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